Coach Wild Bill’s Songs
Applied Psychology, human growth and development, life lessons in
the songs
The original TV show “Star Trek” opened with Captain James T. Kirk’s voice over saying, “Space: the final frontier...” My opinion is, “Inner space: the final frontier…” We need to explore what we think, what we feel, our mind set, our heart set and how they drive our behavior.
The focus of my music is to help kids learn about mental and emotional human growth and development. By putting applied psychology in the songs and having the kids sing along, they learn good life lessons in a fun and easy to remember way. They learn about how to be a human being early, and hopefully, carry it with them the rest of their lives.
I have listed below each of my songs and a brief description of the life lessons in each song.
Very simply, watching and imitating others is one of the main ways we learn behavior. We create ourselves so emulating good role models is critical to our healthy development.
On the surface BURPS is a funny song about a daily experience that has a line or two about good manners. On a deeper level it teaches us respect for others and how to do deal with our own physical bodies. Acceptance of our bodies and body functions isn’t always easy, but it is very important.
What is a team? It can be two people making a cake, or an entire sports team practicing for the next game. The dynamics of interaction may vary from team to team, but the effort and commitment to the team necessary for success is the same. We can experience a sense of connection, fulfillment and achievement when a team really comes together that we do not experience working alone. Learning to be a team player is a critical life skill because life is a team sport.
Dealing with the feeling is Counseling Psychology in a nutshell. It’s important to express what we feel constructively, not destructively and don’t hold it in. As a psychology professor told us in class, “Most emotional problems are a result of stuck feelings.” It sounds simple to say, but it’s often hard to do.
Sometimes pain, sadness and anger are difficult to express. The constructive expression of these feelings is the first step in successfully dealing with life events that we find difficult.
Though warmth, closeness and happiness may be pleasant to experience, we sometimes feel awkward expressing these sentiments. Letting others know that’s how we feel builds bonds and develops relationships.
We often create our own dungeons of doom by not being responsible. We take the passive way out instead of being proactive. We don’t take charge of the situation; we let it control us. We feel out of control and stressed. Personal responsibility means that we are important and worthwhile and worth the effort to take charge of the situation. By being proactive and keeping a clean room, we don’t waste time looking for toys or clothes. We are in control of the situation, and we feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
Feel The
Sadness, Feel The Pain
The song is actually only the chorus. The verses are the discussion of how we deal with the sadness we experience in life. Our pet dies, a good friend moves away, a grandparent dies. I introduce these experiences from my life, and the kids talk about their similar experiences. We sing the chorus between discussions. Through the discussions we learn that the message in the chorus of feeling and sharing really works.
Hard Work
Hard work is one of the main ingredients in any successful endeavor. Whether it’s something simple like learning to ride a bike, or something difficult like learning to play a Beethoven piano sonata, hard work is critical. It’s part of the price we have to pay to accomplish something worthwhile.
Hard work is a life skill. Doing something we are good at is a lot of fun. It took a lot of practice to get good. That practice is hard work. Hard work gets the job done; hard work can be a lot of fun.
This song highlights the reality that each of us is ultimately alone. No one is with us 24 hours a day, 7 days week. We want and need close family and friends, but often we find ourselves alone. Sometimes we just need a touch, a hug, and we are fine. Reality often supplies none; we are left to be our own best friend. Finding the inner strength is not easy, but it is essential to living a healthy life. When no one else is there for us, we must be there for ourselves.
Something we all have in common a lot more than we would like to admit is that we make mistakes. It’s part and parcel of being a human being. Too often we expect perfection of ourselves and others. We get angry when that doesn’t occur. A more realistic perspective is that a certain percentage of the time we will make mistakes no matter how conscientious we are. Our hope is that no permanent damage results from our mistakes. Our focus is how to handle mistakes. Apologize, try to fix the situation and get it right the next time. Mistakes can be positive because they help us learn right from wrong, and it often takes a painful mistake to help us change our behavior.
Each person’s finger prints, each person’s eye irises are unique, and so is each one of us. That is what we all have in common; we are unique. So we face the issue of being one of a kind and needing to get along with ones of a kind. Acceptance, tolerance, patience and compassion go a long way toward all of us following the golden rule.
Developing a strong self-identity based on a solid core of human values and having life goals and plans that guide behavior are keystones to a healthy human being. Being a strong individual makes it easier to be a good team player in the game of life. We sacrifice for the team because we know where we end and the team begins. When we are unsure of ourselves, we often go along to get along and too easily follow the crowd. We lose ourselves, our uniqueness and our happiness.
I’ve Got The
Homework Blues
Avoid – Approach. Homework is something we all have to do, and something we have all dreaded at some point(s) in our lives. Homework is reality. When we avoid it, we increase stress. When we approach it, we decrease stress. There are times when we simply have to “man up” or “woman up” and get the job done.
What is love? There are probably as many answers as there are people. Though the answers may vary a great deal, my opinion is that most people would agree it is the prime motivator of human behavior. LOVE is a reading designed to get kids thinking about their answer to that question, “What is love?” LOVE explores the feeling and the behavior.
Love, Energy
and Time
Love, Energy and Time (The LET Rule) is a good formula for success in life. Most everything worthwhile that we accomplish starts with loving ourselves, seeing the good in us and feeling we are worth all the energy and hard work over days, weeks, months, and years. Love, Energy and Time LETs us do what we want with our lives.
All good things must come to an end. To say good-bye and let the other person know how we feel may at times feel awkward, but the alternative often leaves us feeling a sense of regret that we didn’t take advantage of the opportunity. We can approach reality and say a good good-bye, or we can avoid reality and say nothing. The decision is ours and so are the resulting feelings.
Coping with constant change in our lives is demanding because we are creatures of habit. Variety is the spice of life and constancy is the stability of life. We need balance. When we feel overwhelmed with change, we look to our love relationships to steady us. Good love relationships with family and friends are those things that never change and help us deal with change.
I perform this song as a listening skills test. I instruct the kids on ways to listen actively. After the song I ask the kids, “What does this song mean to you?” “What never changes?”
Unfortunately, a significant percentage of our kids are overweight and out of shape. Either we pay the price of good exercise, nutrition and sleep habits and get good health as a benefit, or we pay the price of inactivity, overeating and under sleeping and face the bad effects of ill health. Use it, or lose it. It is our personal responsibility to take care of ourselves.
This song is an early building block in learning to create something good. Use this tool, the alphabet, to say good things. Throughout life we have the power and opportunity to create good. When we create something good, we feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
The Kids’
Anthem (I Love You, Mom; I Love You, Dad)
This song was written by kids. I put together in a song some of the comments I have heard kids make to or about their parents. This song is kids’ expectations of their parents. The parent child relationship is the most critical relationship in a person’s development, and it is a two way street. Kids learn by watching and imitating their two most important role models in life. Raising kids becomes a lot easier when we set the good example.
We all daydream, and a few of those dreams filter through our internal screening process to become goals that we pursue. Goals can focus and drive our behavior. When we are young, we are asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” So starts the process of dreaming and setting goals and forming plans to achieve those goals. We work hard on carrying out the plans to make the goal into reality.
We need to set goals throughout our lives. The process never stops. We are never too old to dream. Goals give our lives purpose and meaning. Someone without goals wanders aimlessly.
This song is a message to always keep the kid in us alive and dreaming, setting goals and creating plans throughout our lives. When I was introducing this song prior to singing it for the first time with kids, I asked them about their dreams. After listening to many of them describe what they wanted to be when they grew up, one child asked me if I had any dreams. I said that singing my songs with them was my greatest dream come true. The kids get it.
ZOOM
While using the “high five” sent around the room like the “wave” at a stadium, ZOOM is a fun way to learn about sharing, team work and consequences of behavior. Life is a team sport. When we work together, we can accomplish more than working individually. We often experience a feeling that we rarely get alone. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
We also learn that one person can have an effect on an entire group. When we send that “high five” on to the next person with a polite, firm tap, we see people smile and the process works well. If we use a hard smack or refuse to make contact, we see people upset and the process fails. There are consequences to our behavior, both positive and negative.